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Lezley McSpadden remembers her son’s life and shares what she’s doing to secure his legacy

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Photo by Michael Thomas for St. Louis Magazine

If closure is forgiveness, it makes it hard to move on. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I have to forgive in order to move on or that forgiving is the godly thing to do. I ask them, “Are you able to forgive if you’ve never even gotten an apology?” “I’m sorry, I made a mistake. It should never have happened. I should have thought before I pulled the trigger? To be honest, if Darren Wilson were to say that he was sorry, I wouldn’t believe him. The autopsy doesn’t show me that you’re sorry. Where you put bullets into my son’s body doesn’t show me that you’re sorry. Having to make funeral arrangements, buy a casket, and explain to my younger son that his older brother’s not here anymore doesn’t show me that you’re sorry. It’s too late for an apology, because the damage is done.

I called my son Mike Mike because I always thought people with nicknames were special. Mike two times—he wasn’t a junior, but his dad is Mike, and he was Mike, so I said, “We’re going to call him Mike Mike.”

The most important thing to me is to secure the lives of other children. My son is gone—I can’t bring him back—but how can we put something in place where other children are protected?

Lezley McSpadden,
Mother of Michael O.D. Brown

Coverage from St. Louis Magazine